Posts by 38 Years

8

Fading With Children

by Paralipomenon in

jw
friends

i have, for the most part successfully faded.

no elders calling, my parents know i don't attend meetings, but have a don't ask/don't tell policy.

they don't ask if i went to a meeting, i don't tell them i haven't.

My opinion is that the burden needs to fall on both sides. Your parents need to know their boundaries when it comes to their grandchildren (leave their beliefs at the door, so to speak). A little preparation from you to the children while visiting their grandparents won't hurt. The children should just have fun and enjoy their family. It's wonderful that they want to enjoy your parents. It's a compliment to you and how you have raised them.

I decided to quit when my son was 9 years old. We faded and he didn't mind because he hated going to meetings. As we know, meetings are too hard on all the kids. Anyway, he had a very hard time because his grandma must have told him about consequences when you leave the witnesses. He would never tell me exactly what was bothering him so much, so I had to guess. He told me I was breaking up the family. He would get very upset. So, when I told my Mom that I quit, I asked her very nicely to never talk about the WBTS stuff again to her grandson, that it was confusing him. I told her what my plans were for nurturing his beliefs in God and religion but he had the right to decide these things for himself. Even if he was still attending the KH, he would have to decide for himself. Everything I told her was in the best interest for my son. I never requested anything for myself. She said she would respect my wishes. As for my son, we decided together to make some specific compromises and met my mom and my JW sister half way. My mom gave me trouble at first, but I explained to her that if we don't get together when my sister and I have time off, someday the kids will be grown and we won't be all together again. On our days off for the holidays, we would get together at my sister's house where there would not be a Christmas tree. They stay away from my house so they don't have to see the Christmas tree, B-day decorations, etc. It didn't take long for everything to be alright for my son. He was happy.

One thing I did was I started talking to my son about how our family started with the JWs and why I left. I was very honest with him that I didn't know I was in a religion that was not healthy for us. We were going to have a better life. I apologized to him about being mean to him about the meetings. He seemed impressed with that. I told him that Grandma was happy. But I told him we would always respect what Grandma wants, and we will always work things out. He's gotten older and is okay with the changes, he just wants to spend time with his family.

I remember an article I read about explaining things to your children when leaving the Dubs. If you think it will help, I'll see if I can find it.

14

WT Advice

by XBEHERE in

jw
friends

in all the years that you were an active jw did: 1. going out in the ministry when you were down or felt depressed every make you forget your problems and cause you to feel better?

2. going to meetings when you had to rush around and practically yell and scream at your husband/wife/kids to get there ever cause you to feel better that you went instead of staying home to relax?

these are the top two elder solutions to jw problems.

38 Years

When I was a teenager, I loved it and really believed it. Plus, I could meet up with my friends and make social arrangements for the week. When I grew up, I could bearly drag myself to meetings and usually came home crying.

Those elders, gotta love the solutions for all problems in your life:

1. Field service; dragging yourself out of bed, getting dressed up, begging people to listen, getting turned down and told off....what an uplifting experience after those long days at your worldly job all week. Give yourself an extra pat on the back if the weather is bad.

2. Meeting attendance; after a long day at your job, eat dinner really fast, gather yourself and your family and get your buns over to the Hall. If you routine is not running smoothly, you must not be attending regularly or your family would know what needs to be done on meeting nights (quote from an elder I knew). Don't disturb others...keep those kids quiet or take them to the restroom and spank them. (No one can hear it.) Be sure to sit in the front rows, so the late-comers can sit in the back (hope it's not your family). On Sundays, drag yourself out of bed for field service, or for the interesting talk and ~~Bible~~ Watchtower study. Introduce yourself to new ones, you might get a Bible Study out of it! If they are just visiting or already baptized, say goodbye and never talk to them again.

Here's the acronym I was taught:

P - prayer

A - association

S - service

S - study

"How pleasant to see brothers, all dwell in Unity..."

42

Wife and kids left me

by thepackage in

jw
friends

long story short, (i'll post it later), after many years of problems with the wts my wife and kids left me and she has filed for divorce (no adultery was committed).

feeling really sad right now.

i was a great husband and father, however, i could not take the thought of going to any more meetings and have over the last year started to find was to avoid meetings.

38 Years

I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

13

In all my years of inactivity............................

by Warlock in

jw
friends

i was just thinking.

in all my years of being in-active, i've had more visits from spirits, or demons if you prefer, than the elders.

warlock .

38 Years

At least these spirits wont tell you that the best way to fix anything wrong in your life is to go out in the ministry more and attend all the meetings to get encouragement.

I agree. Sounds like you'll have less hassle and a lot more fun.

32

New Watchtower format is all because of Blondie!

by drew sagan in

jw
friends

i was just reading a thread about the new 'exciting' format for the watchtower and how there will be a jw only edition.

add to this what i believe is the new rule that da'd and df'd people are not allowed to receive the magazines unless they attend meetings.

this all got me thinking.... .

38 Years

42

Has money taken over...

by emptywords in

i have found that at every assembly being circuit, district or one day, they are always, always in deficit, why is this, at the last circuit assembly they said that it cost 6,000 for electicity for two days, and that to me was just embarrassing, i asked the sister next to me if what i heard was correct, and yes she said in debt for the weekend because of electricity.. another thing is the soliciting of property from older ones, i know that they do this with anyone that has property (especially older ones that have no heirs).

to leave their assets to the wts, because the governments will take it if you die.

but also what they can leave to the wts would be appreciated if they have family heirs left, i have seen this soliciting in the wt mags on occastions.. what is you're experience if any on this.. cheers.

38 Years

I had no idea they were lying about the contributions at assemblies. Some of those brothers and sisters go through a lot paying to attend the assemblies for themselves and their families. So with faith and trust they get fleeced by those lying hypocrites!

19

Our PO enlightens me on what our congregation's problem is...

by sir82 in

jw
friends

...we have a bunch of "whiners"!.

"why aren't i on the list to read the watchtower?

" "why haven't i been appointed as an elder yet?

38 Years

Isn't a shame that everyone is bothering him? Poor baby!

He'll get over it soon since he is so superior to everyone else in the congregation.

3

Newbies, Lurkers, Come on In, the water is nice.......

by AK - Jeff in

jw
friends

go ahead.

make that plunge, your first post.

stay cloaked, or open up.. let the healing begin, the questions to flow.

38 Years

I recently joined after lurking for 4 years. This is a great place to get support and have questions answered. We'd like to hear from you!

38 Years

22

Using School Assignments to Give a Witness

by Mysterious in

jw
friends

anyone remember all the examples of youths being encouraged to work something about the jws into school assignments on abortion, evolution, volunteer work etc?

i remember cheekily ending an essay with "remember the theory of evolution is just that, a theory" in about 8th grade but that was about it.

i did just get a fantastic a grade mark on my philosophy paper on shoudl parents have the right to refuse life saving medical treatment for infants and children too young to decide for themselves.